Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
