You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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