You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
