i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
