Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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