You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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