That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
