If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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