Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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