I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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