this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize