Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
