try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
