i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
