nut hugger
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
