you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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