Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
