Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
