He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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