I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did I show you my penis last night?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
