i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
