ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
