TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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