Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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