they need to just BURY HIM!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
