When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
