K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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