Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Text me some of your sweat
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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