there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
