Pants 0. Shit 1.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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