1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
