I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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