Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
