billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
