Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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