GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
