is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
