"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
