He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
