He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I didn't notice because vodka
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
