I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
