The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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