I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
