Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
