dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
