Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
