I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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