If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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