I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize