Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
