Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
