Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it because I queefed?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
