Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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