just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
