careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
