I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
