It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
