What a fucking waste of an outfit
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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