Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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