so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Michael Bay diarrhea
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
