He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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