There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we're making bets on your personal life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
