And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I fill condoms, not promises.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize