hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
