my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
