He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
