It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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