My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
