I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
