C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
