Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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